‘Self-Help’

In the beginning, I was a self-help junkie. Affirmations, visualisation, meditation, cold showers, waking up early, running, lifting weights, tracking macros, wim hof breathing, fasting - whatever you name, I most likely had it on my schedule.

But this was a mistake.

I spent so much time trying to have the perfect routine and fit all of the self-help tactics into my day that I forgot to actually work. Whoops.

Slowly, I began to do less and less of these. I found that constant affirmations and visualisations would build me up for an eventual crash (emotional instability), meditation became a chore rather than a way to destress and calm my mind (it actually began causing me stress), tracking macros and gym took too much time out of my day and fasting + waking up early (4am) actually made me really unproductive because I was always hungry and sleep deprived.

Then, I went into a situation where all I did was work - I slowly stopped going to the gym, tracking macros, sleeping on time and waking up early, affirmations etc. I had a mis-understanding that I should partake ONLY in income generating activities 24/7 without giving any metric to my own needs (gym, healthy food, self-care).

In this situation, I found I would work hard, run out of energy, crash, then it would take me multiple days to get back on track - only then to repeat the cycle.

This was also a mistake.

Self-help tactics are tools. At first I put the tools before the craft. Then I tried to craft, without any tools. I have made mistakes on both ends of the spectrum.

Now, I need to reassess and find a productive middle ground.